I am tired of my life. I cant stand being in a room with my boyfriend. He drives me nuts I cant have a moment without him whining because he cant be with me. He calls me when we are not together and he wont give me room to breath when we are together. The sex GOD.....He cant even stay hard he gets me all hot and bothered then he goes flat. Its the worse relationship I have ever been in. I tried leaving him but his friends and family aswell as himself wouldnt stop calling me. He took a bunch of pills and got drunk in the process. They were freaking out and he was telling me he was going to kill hiself if I dont come back to him. I was also getting ready for my cousins wedding that I was suppost to be in and he pulls this shit an hour before the wedding was to start. Because of him the wedding started an hour late. I want out but I lost my job and I am living with him. I have no where to go and no money to get a place. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME. I need my life back and I cant seem to get it.Its not easy to find that job and I have no place to go.

SO you tried to do the right thing and it blow up in your face what now?

 

This was my delima my sister an I were driving to a friends house and we saw a gurl that we had seen at her house before. So being the good hearted person I am I asked her if she was in need of a ride. She told me she was going to the same place as us so when we pulled up my sister got out the truck and went over to the other truck that had 6 people in it. She came back and said that they want her to go with them. Thats when the girl got out the truck and walked over and started cusing out the guy who owned the truck. It turned out that she was engaged to the guy and he was with her best friend in the back seat of his own truck with her. Well my sister being the big mouth that she has. Was talking shit about the guy the rest of the way to the house after the girl had asked if we had seen him. She was also talking about the girl that he was all over the last couple of weekends. Long story short I was taken into a room pinned against the wall by two guys that were with him. Wanting to know why I would set him up like I did. I told them the truth but they werent trying to hear it they were already drunk and high so its not like they knew what was going on really. Things got way out of control when one of the guys that were holding me's sister walked in and they turned their anger to her instead. Next thing I know one of the guys is waving around a gun. I was then let go and everyone was running I just stood there for a moment before grabbing onto the guy with the gun. He dropped to the floor and the gun went off. Everyone freaked out and dropped to the ground inside and outside. I tried to pick the guy up but he was to heavy. I turned him over and searched for holes or blood or anything. I couldnt find anything. I was so scared. I was freaking out myself. He opened his eyes and said im drunk "WOOOOO". I just laughed thats all I could do before he passed out again. The gun was facing the ground and the bullet went down into the dirt. I was very lucky that he didnt get hurt or even killed I took his gun and hid it from him. After that they all took off and everything seemed like it was back to normal again. I went to sleep and woke up every hour just incase though I just couldnt go to sleep thinking that they could come back after a few more drinks. I woke up with my friends brother sleeping on me. I guess he came in and just passed out on me or something. I got up and went to work. So far I have had three people call saying they dont remember much of last night and they want me to fill them in. Well that is the gist of it and yes the guys that pinned me said sorry and that they dont remember doing it.  SO DID I SCARE YOU?

So I told my mother the truth today. I told her about my sister and her ways and how  I couldnt stand her anymore. I gave my mother 7 hundred dollars today and then told her that I love her and that I know I wont see you again and I want you to know that I love you and that I want to be cremated when I pass on. She barely heard me when  I was talking to her. Its okay though I have decited that tonight I will pray and when I am done I will relieve my pain and suffering. If I dont sign in again you will know I have gone to a better place.

 

Man it really gets to me that my sister was blessed with such beauty. Don't get me wrong there are no ugly people in my family.  But I just worry so much more because of it. She is turning 16 soon and most people think she is older. She loves to flirt and talk alot of shit about people. She will mess with your head so much that you will give her what ever she wants. Friday and Saturday  I got to see it first hand. I took her to the gas station so she could use the bathroom and the next thing I know we have 6 guys wanting to go with us. Neither one of us knew who these guys were but sure enough they followed us to a friends house. We all had drinks and smoked and a few hours later I hear that they are popping. My sister just so happen to be one of those who was popping. I was worried that she wouldnt be able to handle it, but it was to late for me to stop her she had already taken it. They went and bought orange juice. They gave me one that was open already. An hour afterwards I started feeling really cold. They told me that they had slipped one into the drink I had. I got so pissed off that I went and laid down in the backroom. The next thing I know everyone is in the room with me. My sister comes and lays her head on my chest and doesnt want to move. They started kicking her telling her to get up cause you cant pop and fall asleep. We all get up and go for a ride to the store for some more juice and something to eat. While we were gone everyone at the house kept calling us to find out what was taking us so long. I was getting annoyed at this point. We got back and they all started drinking again. My sister is playing around with one of the guys that followed us and I really dont like it because he said he was 21.  My sister just couldnt stop she just thought she was all that. When her beauty goes to her head its all down hill from there. 

 

After a while I see something going on in the hallway and decited to check it out. They are looking into a room I peeked my head in and there is one of the guys and my friends sister.  Getting dressed. He then says hey get "........" in here. He was talking about my little sister. Thats when I went after him they grabbed hold of me while he ran to the other room. I was about to beat his ass. I went to the other room with two guys holding me so I dont  try going after him again. I started yelling at the top of my lungs "If anyone trys anything with my little sister I will beat the shit out of them and if I can't do it then my 6 brothers sure will!!!" I was so pissed. I was trying to get her to leave with me and she wouldnt bring her ass on. Man I am so mad about that. She had all those guys wanting her and she was just loving it. She need to have people watching or paying attention to her. If you dont she gets very angry and pissed off. I wonder sometimes if she cant be alone. I guess beauty does go to your head when you know you are.

So yesterday I find out that my mother has decited to take a job in Arizona and that she and my siblings will be leaving at the end of June. My father wasnt to happy to hear the news and neither were my siblings. I guess the way I see it is that she is taking the youngest ones with her and the older ones will have to find a place to live or stay till they get jobs and can get their own place. Well first off my brothers dont work they smoke and they were kicked out of school. One of them has decited to ask my older brother if he could live with him. My older brother gave him the okay. My other brother is going back to cali for school and my other brother is just shit out of luck he is in bethel and he may be moving back there. If im lucky he will so I dont have to see him.

 

For my sisters both of them are going with my mother and so is my youngest brother. My mother has asked me if I would like to go but that I would have to find my own way there. I really dont know what to do yet. I really am ready, more like pass due, to leave here. I still owe on my truck and I dont know how I would do that considering they wont take payment over the phone. I dont know if I could trust anyone here to go and make the payments if I give them the money.

 

I guess you can never really be ready for anything. I will just have to keep moving with the changes that are to come and hope that everything will work out.