4:20 boy I hate b-town and the "B-Town Killas" SSSUUUCCKK this means you JEAN BEAN.....hehehe    

Everyone is stoned today cuz its stoners day. I wanna get stoned tonight just cuz. I wanna go out tonight who wants to cum..haha jp. I'm not feel'n good today I got sick and barfed all over the place at work. OPPS.... I wanted to laugh so hard cuz I barfed of this lady on perpuse and I told her it was an excident. I wanna puke on you. you wanna puke on me hehe cuz weere  a happy family. hehe jp someone has to show mw how to change the reply thing to somethang else. help me out ppl.

okay don't laugh ppl but I wrote this about a year and a half ago. let me know what u think. NO LIES, IIGHT.

Title: OH MOMMY

I didn't wanna start today but I ended up anyway. how could u do this to me,                                                 oh mommy oh mommy. I didnt wanna start today but I ended up anyway how                                                could u  do this to me! I feel like im in a movie, oh mommy oh mommy. I woke                                                 up one morning walked into the kitchen looked around and then looked down,                                                 inmation the surprise in my eyes whe I saw the red shit on my thighs.                                                            OH MOMMY OH MOMMY  I didnt want to start today but I had                                                               to anyway how could you do this to me, oh mommy oh mommy. i didnt                                                        want to start today but I ened up anyway how could you do this to me,                                                            I feel like im in a movie, oh mommy oh mommy..

thats as far as I went. hehehe. I know corney but hey whos not?

"tears" I'm feeling: sad You'll find me: listening to music I'm tired of this place its not a real life I wanna go on to the real place I should be I wanna die. I have tried and have no luck I wish that I could stop lying to ppl and tell the truth I wanna go play wit the little kids just to remeber when I was their age. I wanna go to the park and hang out wit the ppl I use to hang out wit when I was younger. I wanna cry cause I cant I cant talk to them I cant hang out wit the ppl I once did. why cant life be like it was when we were younger? I cant stand it I wanna go back in time and live it ova again. If I could die and be reborn I would kill myself in the womb and never be born I would'nt want to have a child in this world Its no world at all I look at what we do everyday drinkin smokin and drugs. ridin round all night not listenin to our parents and fightin ppl that we use to hang out wit just cuase they owe u 5 dollars. Can anyone tell me why? I wanna die this is no place to live so I guess this is my meno and I want everyone to know. This is no life..........

HEY PEOPLE I NEED YOUR HELP. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THIS HOLE THING IS THE COP RIGHT OR WRONG LET ME KNOW.

yesterday I waited for Jeano to pick me up from work he never showed up. About 1030pm I started walking I walked to video world and returned a movie. I then started walkin to trailor court and traci stopped me half way there and said she would give me a ride to look for jeano. We gave up about 1115pm. She was going to drop me off at moes but then we saw jeano driven right behind us so we turned back around and pulled into Q 2 and I got out and was talking to jeano. I went inside and when I came out the cop was just pullin up. I got down the stairs and he comes up to me and starts yelling at me. Then I start tellin him that I was just walking and he says "I dont care if u r walking or not I told u and I'm tired of tellin ppl." "I'm not going to tell u again I dont EVER WANT TO SEE THIS CAR ON THE ROAD AGAIN". I just waited for him to walk away and I started talkin to jeano again. I said bye to everyone and walked to moes. After I left the cop told jeano he didnt want to see the car on the roads and to get it home and not move it again. Jeano started to pull out and the cop pulled him ova and gave him a ticket and said I told u I did nt want to see it on the road again. he got 5 tickets on his way home last night from what I was told and from the same cop.

I know that blogging may seem like its just a place to lay everything out on the table, but to have ppl u know getting on this site all the time its kinda stupid to say what u feel. I get embarressed when I wanna write something in my blog and some one I know says something about and since I live in a small town it doesnt help. in a matter of seconds you can say one thing and hear a different version of it from someone else who wasnt even there. I have decided that this cant be a place to write what u want cuz to many ppl know me here. I hope that others dont care what ppl think of them and they write their hearts out.

on another note: What do we do when life just cant get easy? living day to day on just what happens. I'm tired of having ppl I know dieing around me everyday I cant close my eyes with out hearing that my cuz was killed by a gun shot wound to the head or ur 13 year old cuz die of a heart attack yesterday. I wounder if I will be the next to go. I remember when I was in history class about a year ago and just a few days before one of my class mates killed theirself, I was sitting there writing my notes when I glanced at the person next to me and I saw a person standing right behind him holding his shoulders. when I looked back I could see the person and the bell rang. When I looked back the guy was gone but when I asked the person next to me who it was behind him he said that no one was behind him and he was best friends with the guy who killed himself. and yes the person and I swear to GOD that it was him was his best friend.

I remember waking up one day from a dream of ppl all running from the high school to the grave yard after hearing gun shots. I ran to catch up to see what was going on and thats when I saw that they were saying good bye to this guy named Josh they were all crying and I jut thought that he was leaving town. Then this light came down and this figure started going up and was waving at us. I couldnt stop crying and I couldnt figure out why this was happening. then I woke up. I told my mom what I was dreaming about and she didnt believe what I was saying. So I went to school and about 30 minutes after getting settled in our class room we heard the anouncement of a school shooting going on at the high school. That everyone will be calling parents and be going home. My mother and older brother were at the high school so I was stuck at the middle school till I could find out how to get home. I was scared that my brother was going to be hurt and I had no clue that my mother had been there yet. I finally got home and found out that my mother and brother were both there. I was even more scard that my dream was about the shooting I waited and waited for some information on what was going on. My mother and brother both came home that day later on and told us what happened and how the principle was killed as well as Josh. My brother than proceded to tell us that he was on the bus with the person who did the shooting and he was sitting next to him talking about school and homework and when the bus got to the school he told him not to go into the school some shit was going to happen and to just go home. then he pulled the shot gun out his pants and walked into the school. He then went to the lobby and shot Josh and then turned around and shot the principle and tried to get into a class room and was jumped from behind and held till police arrived. this was the first shotting to ever happen any where, it happened in 1998.

I live for pain: I only live for disapointments I have never had a great day and I have never had a car work when I really needed it to. I have never had a boyfriend who didnt cheat on me. I have never loved someone who loved me back. I have always had everything go wrong when I  needed them to go right. I sleep only for a hour or two then I wake to just sit there woundering what im going to do. I wanna live but whats there to live for?  PAIN!  I will live for pain and only pain. Summer only broing back bad memories for me and I would reather not have them back. I will go to sleep to night but only for a hour then I will wake to hear the pain of all that have passed I have those angels that wont leave me alone that like to bother me. I will live for pain and thats what this is PAIN.

Yes I was: I was sexually harrast by a boy in my school and I was beattin to a pulp by the girls in my school. I was chased home every night being called a bitch, a slut, a hor. and these r the same girls that want me to hook them up with my brothers. I was scared to death sometimes when I would run home crying and stand outside my door to dry my tears before walking in. I was scared to talk to a guy for years and I would never let a guy give me a hug. I was scared to do anything becuz of my past. I still am scared to have some one just playing around touch me I get goose bumps just thinking about it. I freaked out when a guy attacked me last month I was scared and I couldnt say anything. I had a guy grab my hand and hold it and it freaked me out I am scared to be touched I use to never wear short sleve shirts till about a year ago. I still am scared to wear a skirt or shorts. I will never wear anything but jeans or dress pants.

Alot of people dont know me really if they did I wouldnt be like I am. I try to tell some people about some of the things that have happened to me but they just dont understand or listen to what I am saying to them.

Man, my mo went out of town like last sunday and jeano had all his buddies ova on monday night. They got so fucked up. I even had to help a few ppl the hole night. some of them spent the hole night in the garage having fun. yall know. ;) Well there was 2 guys that where so annoing the hole night one of them kept messing wit me like putting his hand in my face to see if I flinched and just playing to see if he could get me mad. didnt work,hahaha. The other guy wouldnt stay in the room he was so fucked up that he just could'nt stay still. I had to force him into the room a few times. neico (my little bro) had to help me one time cuz he wouldnt let go of me unless we promised to let him out. I stayed up wit 4 of the ppl who where drunk till they fell a sleep about 8 am. then got wokin up at 11am cuz some of them needed to get home. I went back to sleep and made jeano take them. On friday my dad decited to have a party. A rolling party. everyone there got drunk and I mean everyone. I had to pay for some of them to get home and give some of them rides. On our way back to another party we ran out of gas so we started walking. We cought a cab and went to the girls house that was havin the party. We got there and they were out of every thang. the girl and I went for a ride leaving the person that came wit me at her house. We were on our way back when we saw that the person was walking to my house. I asked the girl to stop but she sped up and we got to our destantion and found out what we were lookin for was stolen. I told her to take me home and she said she wanted to drink wit me and we needed to find some than. I said I have some than at home so we went there and I went in and came out bout 15 minutes later and told them I couldnt find it and that I had to stay and watch the ppl who where left ova. My dads friend came to pick him up from work and he had me run out and say hes not here. I fianlly fell asleep bout 3 hours lata. I had to get up cuz my little brother called for a ride home and I forgot the car was broke down and told him i'd be right there. I got up about a hour lata and grabed the gas can and started walking its about a 45 minute walk to the nearest gas station (for me any way and bout a 1hour and 15 minutes for any one else). On my way back I got to the turn to tundra ridge( half way to the car) when a car asked if I needed a ride. I got there and about 2 minutes lata my cus showed up and told me that I owe him for the gas he had to go get. He only gave me half the gas cuz the tank got full after I put the gas in that I had and some of his. still I paied him and his bitch ass. I got the car going when I got to the house. I had found out that all the money that my dad won had been stolen.ova 1200 dollars. I guess I was pretty pissed at my dad cuz he blamed it all on me. I yelled at him and told him he problly moved it and cant remember.  Well I spent the rest of the week end at home and didnt leave till I had too. I did play baseball and catch wit my little sisters and brother. that was fun.

Oh here is some than u dont know I just found out i'm going to be a Auntie. My oldest brother is having a baby. very scary cuz I dont think he can handle a kid. His way of keeping kids happy is giving them ten dollars and sending them on their way. haha

ya boy im movin outta Bethel and going to Palmer. I cant wait to get outta here I will have my own house and my own car and also I dont have to pay for rent. I only pay for half of the utilities and for my classes. hell ya's.  The burbin is gettin out of the shop today and I gotta pick it up.  We are going to have this big ass blow out party the weekend before we leave everyone we know is invited just make sure to bring a plate or food or some sodas or sumthan. I dont think we will come back maybe we will for 4 july or sumthan.  well I most likly wont be on line for a couple more weeks so im sorry if i dont answer u back. I'll miss u guys  If I dont see u before I leave. peace love and happiness. Christina

I feel really bad today. I cant explain it. its weird how u can wake up early one day and know its going to be a good day. But somethang always gotta happen. I got up this morning bout 7am  and hadda take my pops to work and my moms made me make 3 cakes for her job and I burned my arm. then I had a appointment to get my teeth tighten but the place hur dont do shit like that so i have to wait till next month when I get to anchorage to get them done. I ran into rachel and her sister and her brother and some girl and they wanted to go riden so I took'em and droped em off after we went and got gas. now im here and it sucks more . gotta go peace out ppl.

hahaha....yes its almost time baby. I cant wait for that day I can say fuck you bethel and eat shit. the people r coo but the town sucks... I am so happy today cuz we got the burban and the piece of shit car runnin. Thank GOD. wake up people death is calling and its not the wrong number....hahaha just playin. oh heres somethang I made up when I was 13 and one of my friends died.  Its called "NEVER".

                                                       NEVER

                         Never will I die will I forget who was there for me.

There is nothing like doing what your told. when you listen to someone who tells you to do something and you keep it in routine everyday and make it just on time or just missed it for what you wanna do. It does seem to get annoying. having to do for everyone else and have no thanks or a kiss my ass in return. I think of this as a routine. I wake up just in time to here the front door open and in comes my little sister yelling at the top of her lungs, Christina, I already have a headache and she just made it worse. Mom is ready to go get up and get the little ones ready and lets go. I can see how this is important when you have to work or get to school, but when its just to go to the store and get shit or take the little ones to a football practic just to watch. its just plain stupid.

This is now my daily routine weather I like it or not. I guess I can live with it for this week, but any longer I may have to kill. just playin. I got you guys going huh. I love to get people going its funny. but true though I really get annoyed when I have to spend my day off doing for others without a thank you in return.

Well lifes been great meeting new people meeting up with the old and getting my life on track. I started my third chapter of my book and I cant wait till its finished. I have let people read it and they cant wait for the next chapter to be done. I am loving it here. cant get enough of it. hahaha I do miss some people back in B-town. Jeano lost his game against Diamond today 18 to 22 he'll get 'em next time. well im hungry so Ill check back lata peace

I am only but a stranger in my own life. I wake up every morning ready to go. I pick out an outfitand get on my clothes. but when I look at my reflection I dont know who I am. who is this person in front of me. I go through the hole daydoing my old routine. Then I find myself right back where I started from, my reflection. Why cant I be that person I look at every morning? Some daysmy reflection is glowing, but I dont feel that way inside and when i feel happy my reflection is sad or crying. Why dont I know my reflection? Do I see the way I want to feel or am I just losing all control of myself. I went to my aunts funeral and when it was my turn to pay my respects to the family I was smiling even though I was crying inside. I just smiled and the words couldnt come out. All I said was HI. I felt so bad that I did that, but I havent seen any of them since. I heard one was going to college on a basketball scolarship but nothing else. Sometimes, I wonder if the reason I dont know myself is because of all the bad things that have happened to me. I really dont tell anyone how I feel any more. I dont want people to know that im sad cause they want to know why, then they just go off and tell someone else or say thats the stupidest thing you have ever said.  I miss being the shy quiet girl who never talks. Sometimes I feel stupid for even telling any one anything. I may have the wrong answer in my head then someone else says the same answer I had or it really is wrong. I get so imbarrest when that happenslong story short my reflection is showing a person who hides her feelings and doesnt want to show them. THE SHY ME!!!  But the me inside wants out and I think thats whats happening. I WANT OUT!   

I really like this I wrote it a while ago when I was feeling down and unwanted, I think I am starting to get out just not as fast as I thought I would though. I hope everyone is having a great life.   christina

So about two weeks ago I get woken up by a bronco driving up and down our street with his music going I got annoyed after the third time and and decited to watch a movie and this is at about 4 am. I finally fall asleep and got woken up by my sister telling me somethan happened two houses down. I thought they were just trying to get me off the couch but somethan did happen. They found a guy cut into peices in the hole of an out house and I guess I saw the truck that dumped it. I guess the woman who lived there saw foot prints leeding to the out house so she went to take a look and of couse in the hole was peices of some native guy that was missing in Anchorage for the pass month. yeah well thats all I gotta say but if ya wanna talk to me i'm now going to be on myspace.com I';m tried of all these sites so if u wanna find me thats where I'm at. peace

Yes it is I. I am currently working again. I work at the Airport in Anchorage, Alaska. If you travel down hur look for me. Ill be at the Era Ticket Counter. I work monday-friday can u believe that. 3pm - 1am

I have seen 6 new movies this week. They were waist deep, superman returns, rv, click, lake house, and omen. Yes they were all good movies by the way. I am so tired and I still havent found a place to live. I am currently looking for a place for rent or to buy. I have 2 friends coming from North Dakota and Bethel to move with me. Well I am really bored now so I just wanted to finally say I am moving the Fuck out...........thank God.................ENJOY YOUR 4TH OF JULY EVERY1

Hey ppl I forgot to let all you guys know that my brothers CD is finally done and will be out soon. if you have never heard his music before you can check it out at his web site www.arcticflow.com or at www.myspace.com/arcticflow . If you are heading this way you can check out one of his shows he will have the listings on his home page and on myspace. keep listening and looking out I will be posting show times and places soon. enjoy your 4th of july.

What shall I do with out my computer. I dont remember having a life outside computers. There are somethings that I do that dont use computers but to make appt. and to get tickets or otherwise you need a computer

to make them. No one uses the phone anymore unless its a cell phone. To get a job email your resume to us. To get your check stub check your email. or go online to our website. for your childs homework for the day or what classes they missed check our website or your email.  I dont remember when I started relying on computers for everything for homework to bills. Can you think of one day you didnt use a computer for something. I know I cant!????!!!! 

I am tired of talking about it.they need to forget about it. All of it. If I have to hear one more thing about it. I think I may have a heart attack. Well I will for get all together. What SHOOTING!!

This is the only thanks. I get a big fuck you stamped on my forhead. Well fuck this then I hate the world I hate my school I hate my mother and most of all I hate you. I will be drowning in my own pool of blood tonight and I hope you all know why. I cant stand not having anyone to talk to. I cant stand to sit there waiting for a reply and nothing happens. I wont listen to all the bull shit you have to say anymore. I cant stand being ignored. I am drowning and I have noone to notice. I feel like the world is nothing but a shit hole. no one deserves to be on this earth. I will be glad when I pass so that I will not have to see the world parish by your hands.

as they pass:

July 11th Ceara July 10th velvetTurtle July 9th ToplessBlogger monkeyluvr July 6th Ceara ToplessBlogger drunknphilosphr July 5th mullows bdtsp June 28th graymatter June 26th graymatter June 24th superroxy

I believe that life goes on no matter what happens. I have passengers that lose their bags but in the end they find them. So why must they yell at the recieving end. We are not the ones who checked the bags we didnt load the bags and we didnt lose them. At the end of the day we go home and forget all about these things and the passengers go on to their destinations and forget it ever happened. But yet tomorrow I will have another passenger yelling at me because they cant find their bags. Same with passengers that have no ticket or reservations. They scream and yell at us because someone else messed up their reservations and their flights. Oh and we have no seats left for those flights. We get this every day and I would like to have someone say "THANK YOU" It dont matter who you say it to weather its a check out girl at a store or a ticket agent like myself. We need that feeling that we have done a great job today. We have lost another emplyee because she couldnt handle passengers yelling at her all day. I can stand it to a point but at the end of the day I am yelling at my family with all the anger I bottled up threw out the day. So if your having a bad flight and its only getting worse please be kind and try not to explode on the poor person behind the counter their only doing their job.

I wish I had more people come up and tell us how well we are doing. Instead I get "Its all your fault that this is happening" "Cant you do your job right" "I want to speak with your superviser" Its a stressful day without all this and we dont get breaks half the time. We stand all day checking you in and we stand there with smiles even though our feet are killing us. I have been going home for months with swollen or blistered feet. I can tell you that I have people who come through here every day with the same problem as yesterday and life goes on. You will forget what happened and go on with your life while we have to deal with it every day.

I just want to ask you to take it easy on workers. We have hard long days just like you. So next time you go to get gas or to get something to eat take time to say thank you.   

                                                     Christina

Man I really cant stand passengers that complain about everything we do. Your not putting our bag upside down are you? Sir we have to put it upside down so that it wont roll of the belt and we can't find it. What are you trying to say, that you will lose my bag between here and the plane. NO what I am saying is that your bag will roll off the belt if the wheels are not up. I want to speak with your superviser. Okay sir I will get her. Superviser: How can I help you sir? Yes you can. She was very rude to us. She is telling me that she will lose my bag on perpose. Is this true? No I just explained to him why I was putting his bag upside down. NO she told me that my bag will be missed placed or not be on the plane. Im sorry sir I will speak to her about this. Later on in the back. Christina come in my office. Yes sir. Christina I wanted to talk to you about the incident that we had earlier today. Okay. When a passenger wants you to do something their way just do it. if we miss place his bag or not it will be because he was a hot head. Just put in his remarks that he wanted his bag wheels down. So if the bag was missing they can look in his remarks and find out what happened. Okay I will do that next time that happens.

Just to those people that are rude to the girls at the counter. Be warned that they can put what ever they want in your remarks. If they want to get back at you for any reason they can and they will. even if they never see you again they will remember you. And everyone can see these remarks when you check in somewhere else. It can be very easy for you or very hard. Its your choice. Just Remember that they have control of you flights and can put you on the next avalible or the next morning. Keep that in mind next time you are mad and want to yell at someone.

Hey I wanna thank everyone that gave me their feedback on my Blog "IN A DAY".

Thanx again.

Yes I am still at work and working my ass off. We are still short handed. We are down to 4 people on the night shift. I can't remember if I told you guys or not but they closed down one of our stations for good. next will be kodiak and then up to the bigger stations. Hmmm I dont know if we will still have our jobs next summer. The company is BANKRUPT and taking us all out with out the pinchin plan. I really dont know how to spell the word okay so dont get on my ass about it. So in other words we are being fucked by our own company.

Oh ya here is something that will make you laugh. I was down at the gate and I had the door opened to long and the ALARM went off all over the AIRPORT. you guys should have seen my face it was a picture oppertunity. well got to get back to work. peace

YES IT IS I. I FEEL REALLY GOOD RIGHT NOW. I HAVE BEEN WORKING FOR 6 HOURS NOW AND STILL COUNTING. I JUST WANTED TO LET EVERYONE KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT MYSELF. I AM A PEOPLE PERSON. I LIKE TALKING TO PEOPLE IF YOU HAVENT NOTICED YET THEN WE DONT TALK. I REALLY ENJOY PEOPLE WRITING BACK TO ME AFTER I WRITE IN MY BLOG. IT GIVES ME SOMETHING TO DO. I ALSO MET MORE PEOPLE THAT WAY. I LOVE HEARING HOW YOUR DAY HAS BEEN. IF YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH YOUR NIEBOR. OR JUST THAT YOUR DAY WAS GREAT. I'M SORRY IF I BUG YOU WHEN I TALK BACK TO YOU BUT THATS ME OKAY. SO IF I TALK TO YOU JUST TO SAY HI OR WHATEVER LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME OR NOT OYU CAN EVEN SEND ME A FUCK YOU IF YOU REALLY WANT TO. JUST TELL ME SO I KNOW NOT TO BUG YOU.

THANKS CHRISTINA

Okay so I didnt get drunk this weekend.  Instead I worked and played.  Get this they were having another $99 dollar sale. On cars and trucks. So I went down not expecting to find anything and to my surpise I did. I found this beautiful truck. I was told that it is worth $50 grand even. But they slashed the price to 24,400 and I was the lucky person to get it. I was doing the paper work and all then they told me I would need a co-signer. I called my brother as soon as I heard that. He told me he would do it. We got it all together and then I get a call saying he cant do it. He talked to his wife( whom doesnt like him helping his family or even hanging out with them. even keeping them away from the baby.) which talked him out of helping me. I was so mad. I loved that truck it was a F150 with a lift. it was taller than me and my father. I was loving it. We got in it and the seats were heated the pettles move for shorter or taller people. It was a 4 door and it was just cool.

So all yesterday I was picking out a car or truck to call my own since I cant drive my own truck I decited to trade it in. It is worth 10thousand easy but they wanted to give me 25hundred for it. I told them to fuck off and left. I found a explor for 10 thousand and they told me it would be my truck and another 15 hundred for me to drive it off the lot. fuck that. one guy even told me to match my dividend and he would take that and my dividend to pay for it. what are these poeple smoking? I think I want some.

Oh yeah I wanted to ask your opinion on weather or not I should pack up and leave my job to join the corp.

If you had the choice to either work and pay bills for a year or volunteer for a year and get your tuition for school paid for. And also never have to pay rent or have to buy a car. I dont know what I should do. I have to roommates coming up next month and thats when I am suppost to tell them if im going or not. I would sure love it after I got back never to pay rent or need a vehicel. I g2g but I will be back

Choose your answer for each category. Add up the $ to see how much you are worth. Repost with headline: I am worth $_____

Hair color:
[]Natural Blonde $50
[]Bottle Blonde $45
[x]Brunette $40
[]Black $40
[]Redhead $45
[]Other $15

Eye Color:
[]Blue $25
[x]Green $15
[]Brown $20
[]Grey $15
[x]Hazel $20
[]Other $10

Height:
[]Under 5' $20
[x]5' - 5'8" $25
[]5'9" - 6' $30
[]Over 6' $35

Age:
[]13 and under $10
[]14-16 $15
[]17-18 $20
[x]19-21 $25
[]22-30 $20
[]30-40 $15
[]Over 40 $10

Education:
[]Middle School $10
[]Quit high school $0
[]still in high school $5
[]GED $10
[x]High School Grad $50
[x]In College $75
[]2 year degree $85
[]4 year degree $100
[]Higher degree $125

Birth Order:
[]Only child $15
[]First born $50
[]Last born $40
[x]Middle child $30
[]Other $20

Smoke?
[]Yes $0
[x]No $20

Drink?
[]Never $35
[x]1-5 x's month $25
[]6-10 x's month $20
[]11+ x's month $15

Vision?
[]No correction $30
[x]Glasses $10
[x]Contacts $15
[]Surgical correction $20



Car Color:
[]Red $50
[x]Blue $30
[]Green $30
[]Silver $45
[x]White $20
[]Black $25
[]Other $20

Shoe Size:
[]5/6 $20
[x]7/8 $30
[]9+ $15


Current Undies:
[]bikini $15
[]thong $15
[]brief $5
[x]boxers $20
[]none $0

total: $450.00

I found out today that one of my friends shot himself in the chest while he was drinking. He may be paralized from the waist down now. I am so glad to be out of Bethel. I bet I would have been there when it happened.

Another friend that may not make it to 21. WOW I GOT TO GO THERE IS SOMETHING HAPPENING THE ALARM IS GOING OFF

WELL I JUST FOUND OUT THAT ONE OF MY VERY BEST FRIEND HAS CANCER. MAN IF ANYTHING WAS TO HAPPEN TO HIM I DONT KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO. I LOVE YOU JONNI BOY!!!!! IM HEAR FOR YOU.

RECAP:

              I found this poem and I thought about my friend Sandra. She passed away and she was always saying that if she died before us she would be in heaven saving us a place.  Well Sandra I will see you soon.

  In memory of Sandra Ann Rohle Aug. 11th 1990-June 5th 2003                                            

                                                     "I remember" 




                                            If tommrow starts without me

                                                 And I'm not there to see; 

                                            If the sun should find your eyes

                                              Are filled with tears for me





                                         I wish so much you wouldn't cry

                                              The way you did today

                                      While thinking of the many things

                                               We didn't get to say




                                             I know you love me

                                          As much as I love you

                                     And each time I think of me

                                      I know you'll miss me, too 




                            But when tomorrow starts without me

                                     Please try to understand 

                         That an angel came and called my name

                                    And took me by the hand




                                And said my place was ready, 

                                     In Heavean for above,

                            And that I'd have to leave behind

                                     All thoes I dearly love 




                                But as I turned to walk away

                                    A tear fell from my eye

                              For all my life I always thought

                                     I didn't want to die.




                               I had so much to live for 

                                   So much yet to do 

                           It seemed almost impossible 

                               That I was leaving you




                        I thought of all the yesterdays 

                         The good ones and the bad

                   I thought of all the love we shared

                                All the fun we had




                         If I could relive yesterday

                           Just even for a while

                     I'd say goodbye and kiss you

                       And maybe see you smile 




                       But then I fully realized

                      That this could never be 

               For the emptiness and memories

                  Would take the place of me 




        And when I thought of the worldly things

                I might miss come tomorrow 

             I thought of you and when I did

            My heart was filled with sorrow




    But when I walked through Heaven's gates

                    I felt so much at home 

     When god looked down and smiled at me

                  From his golden thrown




                 He said "This is Eternity

              And all I have promised you 

            Today for life on Earth is past

                But here it starts anew




               I promise no tomorrow

            But today will always last

   And since each day's the same way

      There's no longing for the past 




      But you have been so faithful

               So trusting and so true

Though there were times you did some things

            You knew you shouldn't do 




        But you have been so forgiven

         And now at last you are free

          So won't you take my hand 

          And share my life with me?"




    So when tomorrow starts without me

         Don't think we're far apart

      For everytime you think of me

       I'm right here in your heart!

The TSA (Thousands Standing Around) has decited to move to a orange zone at all airports. Meaning that you the people cant have lip stick or chap stick, any hairspray or gels, And you cant have any drinks or liquids on you. Meaning that your soda has to get thrown away before you go through secrity and you cant have anything to eat with you. They check all vehicles that are out in the parking lots including employee parking. They stop every third vehicle that comes to the airport and does a check of the vehicle. inside and out. Dogs and everything. If you have any liqiudes in your vehicle then you have to drink it in front of the police if they stop you. Any food that you have has to be opened by them and they go through all your bags. I think I dont want work at a place where I can't get in my own vehicle without seeing a tag on my car saying that they have search my car while I was working. what do you guys think about that?

AS THE DRUNK'IN SKUNK WOULD SAY "MY DAY MIGHT STINK BUT ATLESS I SURVIED ANOTHER DAY"  

AS THE SOBER SKUNK WOULD SAY " I MIGHT HAVE RAISED A STINK, BUT ATLESS I WONT BE FORGOTTEN."

hey I thought I would up date you guys about my week and my injury. Well my back is still pretty bad my job decited that they would fax my doc and ask if I could come back to work and do light duties. well what in the world am I going to do at the airport thats light? They never told me that I was oked to go back and it pissed me off to have my boss tell me when the doc should have called me to inform me that he was doing it. The pain is getting worse I can feel it more and more. Today it was hard for me to breath it hurt so bad. They have me standing for 8 hours and its just making it worse.

In other news. I spent thur-sat with my cousin cuz it was her 21st birthday. we got drunk thursday and friday and then I went to my uncles house for card night which was koo cuz I walked in with no money and left with 10 dollars in quarters. Then I went back to my cousins house at 3am and they were still going I decited I would rather take my pain killers and be high rather than get drunk again. She tried to drive her car out of her drive way which had 5 vehiches blocking her in. She made a new scrach on her car from hitting another car and scrached up the front of her car running over her daughters stroller that was on the " lawn" and ran into another persons mailbox. She just paid 1000 dollars to have her lawn done and now it all fucked up. After she get out the driveway she asked me to drive. Ya now that was a weird ass experience driving while  I was on my meds. I was seeing things that werent even there. But I was very cautious. other than that I have been sleeping all week and all day. I start PT on wed. and they want me to come in for a MRI I guess on thursday. well if you dont hear from me im sorry. Ill be back soon. christina

                                                      THIS LIE

A WORLD SO BLUE THE SKY SEEMS WHITE, AS IF THE STARS LEFT FOR A NIGHT, NOTHING IS RIGHT, YET I FEEL THE COLORS COMING THROUGH, I HOPE FOR LIFE YET GET DEATH, I HOPE FOR PEACE BUT GET HELL.

 IT SEEMS I HAVE FOUND A NEW WORLD, A WORLD UNDISCOVERED, UNTIL I SAW THE TRUTH, I WAS IN A LIE, LIKE DEATH AND LIFE HAVE BEGAN AND ENDED, I WILL START A NEW BEGINING.

THE TRUTH, THE WORD, THE SOUL, THE LIE, WHAT WORLD COULD KEEP ME SO BLIND, TILL DEATH STARES YOU IN THE EYE, YOU WILL LIVE IN THIS LIE.

                                                        -MY WORD MY SOUL

hellzz yeah, I just bought a durango yesterday. Now I need to get my truck running and sell it and maybe the tempo too.

Hell yeah man I fell really good. My back is almost all the way better and I am working light duty at work. I could say I am happy right at the moment. once I sell my truck I will have the durango paid off and still have money to put toward my house. I am going to remodel the living room and kitchen. maybe even the stairs. wish me luck. and when you glance at the time and its 1111 or any number like that make a wish. Mine came true yours can too.

Its not that I like telling this story but that I have kept it bottled up inside for to long not to tell it. I can not remeber anything from when I was little, I can remeber things like when my little sister was 1 running up to the Tesoro in her diaper for one reason or another. She was arrest at 1 yr 2mons for shoplifting. Anyway getting of track. When I was little something happened to me that made me block out all memories of the past. I do not remeber what year or age I was when it happened but it scared me so much that I still have nightmares about it. My father took wanted to stop at a friends houe before heading home. We were in a truck I remeber because I was sitting on my mothers lap. Two men aproched the truck and started talking to me. I do not remeber what we talked about but their faces were sketched into my head. After we left there we headed home. We watched tv in the living room and I must have fell asleep. I heard a knock at the door and woke up.

There was one of the men that had talked to me earlier that day. He wanted me to let him in. I let him in because I knew that my daddy knew him. He asked me if my daddy was home and I told him that everyone was sleeping. He asked if he could sit on the couch. I closed the door and went to the couch and sat door to watch more tv. Out of no where he grabbed me from behind and turned me around and dropped me to the couch. I tried to scream but he covered my mouth. I kicked me and he let go. I must have hit me were every guy hates to be hit because he dropped for a few seconds just enough to get away from him I started running and I called out for my mommy and then my daddy. The man chased me around the livingroom. I hid behind the tv and he went grabbed me again. I broke free and ran into my parents room and jumped in the bed with my parents. I could not wake them up so I got between them and got under the covers and cried myself to sleep. I never told my parents what happened I thought they would be mad at me for letting him in the house and that it would be my fault. I told my mother a year ago and she said I was crazy nothing like that ever happened to me. Since I am still having nightmares about it. I think about what would have happened if I had just told them what happened back then that I would have been more open to people and I would not be afraid to have them touch me. I still freeze up when someone touches me. I am single because I could not stand to have my boyfriend touch me. He still wants to be with me but I can not stand to be touched. I told my family and friends that we broke up because he lived out of town and I could not do long distance relationships but I can not lie any more. I am letting it out.

since the last time I wrote on here I have had things change in my life.

1. I got that new car I wanted.

2. I have a little thing goin wit someone....@ work

3. I owe 3 thousand by december 4th.

thats all I can think of at the moment. other than that my life is boring. I took my siblings trick or treating and well I will never do it again......I hope you all had a great weekend and a happy halloween....christina

Hey people how was turkey day for you guys. I had to work that day didnt get off till 12:30 in the morning. it was okay though it was all over time and holiday pay. I had alot of problems this month. my mom ended up in the hospital because she was having chest pains. Turns out that she had a minor heart attack and a stroke. She was also told that if she doesnt slow down and lessen her stress this may be her last christmas with us. We are trying are hardest to keep her calm. I also buoght a car, a 2007 ford focus, I had to make a down payment of 1,853.00 by the 24th of November and I didnt have that money. I did end up paying 1,000 toward it but I had to ask for an addvance on my next pay check so that I could pay the rest. They changed the due date to the 1st and I hope to GOD that I have the money for it and for the car insurance which is 1,017.00 for December and my first car payment is due the 1st and thats another 260.00 I dont have. I will be so happy once December is over with. I think I was my fault that my mother was in the hospital with all my problems. She also just bought a truck around the same time I did. She still owes 2,000 to the guy she bought it from and 2,000 to the guy she borrowed money from. I barley make 800.00 every two weeks I dont know how we are going to do this. Man I just remebered I have to pay my orthodontis too by the 28th of this month. Man if I survive this year it will be a miracle. The stress my kill me before it kills my mother. I have started working over time just to get some more money. Co-workers think im sucking up to the management but I just really need the money. I really think I may die before my birthday. Which is the 23rd of December.  I really need someone to pray for my family and myself.

On other news my father is still without work and is drinking more and more. I got pulled over again last night we didnt get home till 4:30 in the morning and I am still tired. I have seen so many accidents and people dying in the last year that I dont even want to go out of my house. I have lost to much and so many. I wish I could just let go it would be so nice to get everything go. On my way to get my dad I stopped and looked at the mountians and the stars....it was so beautiful. I cant remeber the last time I just stopped and slowed down. I miss so much because I cant slow down anymore if I do everything else just fades and Then I end up with more shit to do. Its like I am in the twilight zone. I miss all of my loves and all my lost I will never forget any of them. "Never will I die will I forget who was there for me."-christina santacrose

Love always and forever,

Christina

PS

Never forget me and never lose me. Always know that I love you no matter who you are if we have had a glance or have talked just once. I will never forget you. you have impacked my life. And I will never froget you for that.

I look like shit, I had just got off work I went and changed at my brothers and he got a pretty bad picture of me. I hate the picutre of me but the car looks great.

hey everyone,

Today is a great day. I am happy I am excited and I think I have met my match. I just feel so alive for once in my life. its like I just woke up today a new person. I am happy and content with myself. I am happy were I am in life. I am doing what I love again, photography and writting, and I am happy with my job. I dont every care that I am in deep with my money right now. WELLLLLLL I am going back to work now. I will be putting a new page out of another book im writting. ttyl christina

That is a new word I learned a couple of days ago it means how you doing or hi something like that. It was cool to learn something new. I want to start taking classes on Italian I want to speak my familys launguage. I want to go back to italy one day. dout it will be soon but I still want to go.

We have a web special this weekend where you can travel for half the price if you bring in a turkey or ham. Well most the passengers didnt read the fine print or just didnt bring one thinking it was a joke. Well I have had enough of people crying to me to please let them get on because they already bought the ticket. well you didnt buy the turkey. every turkey or ham we get goes to the food bank and we need everyone to help us out and its just not working. It is just a hole lot of shit to go through and the passengers just dont get that we have to hear it from more than 100 customers every few hours. A customer tried to come aross the counter to hit my co-worker and a ramper just so happened to walk in right as he was about to and stopped him. I have been cussed at and yelled at so much that when I got off I was taking my stress out on my family. I want everyone to know that its not easy to do my job its a pain just to get out of bed because I know whats coming to me.I love my job and my co-workers so I deal with it. I gotta go I have a plane coming in.

hey gizzards how is everythang. I am bored out of my mind I need a vaction or just some time to be alone. I am starting to hate work. there is nothing to do and I am so bored the hole day. I guess someone went on the radio and was talking shit about the turkey fare thing. I dotn care of they rage on the company but it sucks that they are saying its our faul. we are just doing are jobs just like everyone else. If we dont we end up on the street looking for work. how hard is it to just go buy a ham for 10 dollars and help someone have a great holiday. everything that we get donation or other wise goes to the food bank of alaska. we dont keep any of it. Or atless I dont think Era is that fucked up in the head that they would do that. Other than that I am ready to quit and find a new job. I am thinking about gettting 3 jobs just to make enough money that I can pay my bills and still have gas money. I cant even afford to get presents for anyone this year. I dont know what to tell my family and I feel really bad about it. I dotn even have gas money my mother is putting money in my account I know because she is the only one who has access to it. She doesnt want me to know though but I do and I wont tell her I know because I dont want her to feel bad for helping me out. I love her so much and after her accident I dont want to put any more stress on her. I just found out yesterday that one of my co-workers are RICH. They even have Black card. Where their credit card is unlimited. She owns 6 places and has homes in different places. She doesnt need to work but she does to keep herself busy. I envy her so much. I wish I never had to worry about money anymore. I know that if I had my own computer I could finish that book that I have been writting. I just dont want to keep saving it to someone elses computer and they steal it from me. I trying to get my life back on track. I have started paying some of my bills off. I still own a few thousands but I am getting there. I know that I will be in collections for some of the bills by the end of the year. Well thats my life for today ttyl  christina

How much life experience do you have? Your Result: You are very experienced.

100%You have lived through alot in   your young life. Be proud of what you've accomplished. Your friends will look up to you for advice.Remember that many people admire you and those who dont just don't know you. Never be bothered with rumors about you, and stand up for yourself when ever the oportunity arises. If you believe that you can conquer any problem, you WILL.

I got this poem from another blogger but just thought it was great and wanted you all to hear it.

A Different Kind Of Christmas Poem Attributed to: LCDR Jeff Giles, SC, USN The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light, I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight. My wife was asleep, her head on my chest, My daughter beside me, angelic in rest. Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white, Transforming the yard to a winter delight. The sparkling lights in the tree I believe, Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve. My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep, Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep. In perfect contentment, or so it would seem, So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream. The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near, But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear. Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know, Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow. My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear, And I crept to the door just to see who was near. Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night, A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight. A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old, Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold. Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled, Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child. "What are you doing?" I asked without fear, "Come in this moment, it's freezing out here! Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve, You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!" For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift, Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts... To the window that danced with a warm fire's light Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right, I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night." "It's my duty to stand at the front of the line, That separates you from the darkest of times. No one had to ask or beg or implore me, I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.” “My Gramps died at 'Pearl’ on a day in December," Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers." “My dad stood his watch in the jungles of 'Nam', And now it is my turn and so, here I am.” “I've not seen my own son in more than a while, But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.” Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag, The red, white, and blue... an American flag. “I can live through the cold and the being alone, Away from my family, my house and my home. I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet, I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat. I can carry the weight of killing another, Or lay down my life with my sister and brother... Who stand at the front against any and all, To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall." "So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright, Your family is waiting and I'll be all right." "But isn't there something I can do, at the least, "Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast? It seems all too little for all that you've done, For being away from your wife and your son." Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret, "Just tell us you love us, and never forget; To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone, To stand your own watch, no matter how long. For when we come home, either standing or dead, To know you remember we fought and we bled. Is payment enough, and with that we will trust, That we mattered to you as you mattered to us."

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE !!!!!

HOPE EVERYONE HAD A GREAT NEW YEAR.

YES ITS TRUE. THE FIRST TIME IT SNOWED FOR TWO DAYS STRAIGHT WITHOUT LETTING UP. I WAS ON MY WAY TO WORK AND AS I DROVE DOWN THE HIGHWAY THIS VAN DECITED TO CUT ME OFF. OF COURSE BEING AN ALASKAN I DID WHAT ANY ALASKAN WOULD DO. I PUMPED MY BRAKES TRYING TO KEEP FROM HITTING THE VAN. I WAS TRYING TO GO INTO THE DITCH TO AVOID HITTING ANYONE ELSE. INSTEAD MY CAR DECITED TO RUN RIGHT INTO A GAURD RAIL AND THEN BOUNCE BACK INTO TRAFFIC. I WAS THEN HIT BY A EXPLOYER AND RAMMED RIGHT BACK INTO THE GAURD RAIL.

MY CAR WAS SO CRUNCHED THAT THE GUY WHO PULLED ME OUT THE CAR WAS SURPISED THAT I WAS STILL ALIVE. AS SOON AS HE HAD GOTTEN ME OUT THE CAR ANOTHER VEHICLE WAS INCHES AWAY FROM HITTING MY CAR. INSTEAD THE DRIVER DID A 360 AND ENDED UP IN FRONT OF US. SHE DIDNT STOP FOR LONG SHE WAS BACK ON THE ROAD AGAIN. AFTER BEING LOOKED AT I REFUSED TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL INSTEAD I WENT TO WORK. EVERYONE WAS SO SURPISED THAT I WENT TO WORK AFTER ALL THAT.  ALL IN ALL I GOT OUT OF IT WITH JUST A FEW BURNS ON MY ARMS. IT WAS A MIRACLE SO THEY TOLD ME. I TOLD THEM IT WAS JUST LUCK IF I HADNT HAD MY SEATBELT ON I WOULD HAVE BEEN THROUGH THE WINDOW.

THE POLICE SAID IT WAS A HIT AND RUN AND DIDNT GIVE ANYONE A TICKET. THE OTHER DRIVER WASNT HURT. I AM WAITTING ON MY INSURANCE COMPANY TO LET ME KNOW WHATS GOING ON. SINCE IT WAS LESS THAN 2 MONTHS OLD  THEY ARE GIVING ME EVERYTHING I PAID FOR IT BACK.  MAN WHAT A WAY TO START THE NEW YEAR. SINCE IT WAS A 2007 ITS KINDA FUNNY.

WELL FOR CHRISTMAS I GOT A NEW SOUND SYSTEM AND NOTHING TO PUT IT IN.

I GOT :

1 AMP

2 SPEAKERS

1 NEW SYSTEM

1 ELECTIC START

1 MP3 PLAYER

2 MP3 PLAYER SPEAKERS

ALL TOGETHER THAT TOTALLED TO: 3000 DOLLARS

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ME. MAN I ALREADY STARTED TO NEW YEAR ON THE WRONG FOOT.  GOTTA GO BUT ILL BE BACK CHRISTINA

YES AGAIN I AM ANNOYED WITH MY LIFE. I WAS THINKING ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME OVER THE YEARS. I FEEL LIKE WRITTING A BOOK ABOUT IT. A TRUE STORY ABOUT ME AND MY LIFE. A BOOTLEGER FATHER A WORKAHOLICH MOTHER A DRUG DEALER BROTHER AND SEXUAL HARRASSMENT.....IF LIFE COULD GET ANY WORSE HAVING THE COPS FOLLOWING YOU AND BEING SHOT AT WEEKLY.  SEX AND SUDUCTION WOULD MAKE U WANT TO READ MORE AND MORE JUST HEARING THINGS THAT I HAVE SEEN OR DONE WOULD MAKE U FEEL AS IF U WERE THERE.

NOT ONLY WAS MY BRAND SPANKIN NEW CAR TOTALLED BUT I STILL HAVE YET TO SEE ANY MONEY FOR IT. ITS LIKE I AM IN A MOVIE THAT WONT END. I GET THIS FEELING THAT SOMEONE IS FOLLOWING ME AND WATCHING ME. SOMETIMES I JUST  SIT ALONE IN MY ROOM AND I FEEL AS IF SOMEONE IS IN MY CLOSET OR HAS A VIDEO CAMERA. ITS KINDA SCARY CUZ I ALWAYS FEEL AS IF TODAY IS MY LAST DAY TOMORROW IS A PRAYER FOR ME. I AM READY TO LET GO BUT ITS LIKE I HAVE A PERPOSE IN LIFE THAT IS KEEPIN ME ALIVE.

Yes its been a while since I have been on here and im sure any or all of my friends havent been on here in a while too. I guess I can start from the begining and let u guys know who I am. Name is Christina.I am currently 21years old. I live in Palmer,Alaska. I do NOT live in an Igloo as others my assume. I live on a my older brothers land. He owns three houses on this land and I currently reside in one of them. I own 3 vehicles all of which dont run. I am not rich, I dont pay rent but I do have bills. I work in Anchorage, Alaska as a Ticket Agent. I dont make much money I am currently looking for a second job so that I can move to Anchorage. Gas prices suck so having to drive an hour each way to work is very expensive. I am very lucky if I have enough money to last me two weeks before my next check. I will not be able to live alone because I cant afford the rent and the utilities. I also have no working vehicle so I will ride a bike to work every day getting as much over time as possible.

I am the second oldest of 10 kids. I have no kids of my own,but I love kids and hope to have them in the future.

I have never met my biological father but I will always say that my step father is my father no matter what. My parents are getting a divorse, we all knew it was coming, it came as no surpise. The oldest of us is turning 28 and the youngest is 5 years old. Im sure that if my father didnt get fixed there would be more of us. :)

I spend alot of time with my family and friends not only because I love them but because I dont know if it will be the last time I see them. I have to go to work but I will be back and in full affect tomorrow......loves

So its been a while since I have written in this blog. I sold my truck a week or two ago. I totaled my car in december my brother and 4 of my friends were shot. my brother went off to college early this semester seems he didnt think he would live to see another day if he stayed any longer. I am moving into my own place in a few days and getting me a new ride on the first. I lost a few friends this year and a few cousins. I am praying for the rest of us. I am working for Era again and we just got a new manager. Shes a real peice of work. I need to money so I keep going. I am now working three jobs and keeping myself busy. I have asked my mother if she would mind if my sibs came and stayed with me for the school year. she said that she would rather go than let them.lol She is really thinking about it since her and my father are getting a divorse and neither of them want to go through a custody battle. this way everyone wins. my youngest sister starts kindergaden this fall and my youngest brother is starting second grade. my older brother is working two jobs and keeping his music going while taking care of his wife and child. yeah thats right I am a auntie now. oh my little brother is going to jail for assualt I called the police on him when he decited to hit and threaten myself and my little sister. I know what the F*** was I thinking. I was just worried and I was tired of always getting beaten by my brothers.. I know they are just angry and all but come on when I go to work with a black eye and a broken nose something is wrong. They joke about all of the things they have done like putting my cars in the grave yard 3 times so far and they think life is a joke. but now they know I am not playing with them anymore.  I have found my voice and I am going to use it.

Hey there,

Its me again. It has been a while since I have been on this site. I have tried to get on but the computer had the site blocked then the site wouldnt load up and so on and so on.

SO everything thats new. I bought a truck  and I moved out of my apartment. I'm currently looking for a new one. I am still working at the airport but I am working ramp, cargo and baggage now. I spend alot of time in the baggage office. (not by choice.) I have applied for a pill grant so that I can go back to school and get my degree. As of today I am still single but I am talking to a few guys.

One that is a sweet heart who calls me everyday just to see what I'm doing and how I'm feeling. One that writes to me every other day telling me how his day has been and listening to how my day had gone. One that I talk to on messenger and text were he and I play a game of BEST and we talk about everything. Other than them I have co-workers who wont stop asking me out. I had one  yesterday that asked me to go out with him I felt bad so I said yes I will go out with you on a date. (my first date just to let you know) He surpised me by getting Elton John Tickets. I'm not really a big fan but I guess its a good place to go.

Just so some of you dont think I'm a whore or a bitch I am still a virgin and I am weighing my options before I get stuck with someone that I dont really get along with. I am looking for a life partener not just a fuck buddy. I know to many girls (under 21) that are prego or have already had a child or two. I dont want to be one of those girls. I know I am over 21 I would just rather be in love with the guy before I open my legs for him. Someone that if I did get prego he would take care of me and my child (our child). 

Man I gotta tell you about the dream I had lastnight. I was driving my little brother and sister to someones house and these two guys were in the middle of the road. They had something silver in their hands I couldnt make out what it was till I got close enough to see. They had guns. Thats when they opened fire on the vehicle in front of me.  Till it crashed and then they turned an looked right at me. They stepped to the side and let us pass and all I was thinking was they are going to see the arctic flow sticker on the back and find me like that. I sped up and didnt stop till I got to where I was going. We got inside quick and told then what happened and they sent my siblings upstairs to play and they told me to just keep my mouth shut and hopefully they dont come looking for you. The next time we know there is a knock at the door I went upstairs and had the little ones hide with me. They answered the door and it was just another friend of ours. I relaxed after an hour went by then someone knocked at the door again. I just got in the bathroom and pretended to be taking a shower. One of the gurls came an told me that the cops were here and they wanted to talk to the driver of the truck. I came out just a little and told the gurl to tell them that the driver went with another friend out and left the truck over night so she wouldnt drink and drive. I guess the cop bought it. I left a little later but without the little ones just incase. I drove to some house I'm guessing it was mine cause I had the keys and I knew where everything was. I got a call from my dad saying that the house is on fire that the little ones are at. I got over there and they were in a vehicle with my father. The next thing  I know I am at a rest stop and the guy that asked me out is there talking to the guys that had the guns. They come over and talk to me saying that they wont do anything as long as I keep my mouth shut and dont tell anyone who started the fire or they may make one that will kill everyone with and without bullets. It was a weird as dream and I'm sure its probly nothing to worry about.

I'm getting so bored that I think I will take a nap before getting back to work.

here I go again doing the same shit I do every day. working my ass off for a company that thinks they can work us like mules and pay us little to none. I spent my day working again and I really am bored out of my mind I am getting annoyed with passengers getting angry with me because their fat asses decited to bring 6 boxes of fish and 2 suitcases with them and actually thought that they would all be here when they got off the plane. Shit its called weight and balance for a reason do they really want to die the same way Aliyah did.

I think about that day and just cant believe the guy was stupid enough not to follow reguations and make sure everything was good with the weight and balance. People really dont think about that kind of shit when they travel that they really are putting their lives in our hands if we were to just throw all bags on and all passeners that the plane can fit there is a 90% chance that, that plane will crash. Then they want to sue the airline for almost killing them or for killing their family member that wanted to make sure their bags got on because they cant wait at the airport or return to the airport in an hour to get the bags that were bumbed and then they want us to deliver the bags. WOW I am getting way out of control right now. I really am just getting pissed off with people today it must be from the heat wave that just hit. This is what I get for working for an airline. They really should pay us more because we take so much shit from people and we return none of it back (if we want to keep our jobs that is)

I just had to do one on brothers after my convo Myclette. I really dont understand why brothers think the world owes them. For me I have 13 brothers and sisters, yes thirteen. Other than my little sister my brothers are lazy and refuse to do anything they dont want to. If my brothers are in the mood to do something they will do it but after an hour if they arent done with it they give up and leave what ever it was unfinished. I actually got one of them to fix my table and chairs well guess what happened next. He got bored with it and decited they were good Enough and that he was done a week later the only thing I had left was the table thank GOD he fix that one first. Not to good for those who fell out of those chairs or through them...lol. This brother in particular has had ONE job his hole life and it was for extra credit for school after a month he quit. His reasoning was I hate washing the dishes they keep making me do it. WOW I worked in a resturaunt for over 4 years and I understand WASHING DISHES. You got to do what you have to if you want to get anywhere. He just doesnt understand that for some reason or another. He even got with draw failer from school and was told that he could not step on school grounds ever again. He spends his days smoking and drinking or playing video games and if my mother or I dont give him money he goes and pons anything and everything he can no matter if they are mine or my mothers aslong as it isnt his he gets rid of it. I have lost rings, stereos, speakers, xboxs, and so much more. He is also very abusive to everyone. If he doesnt get his way he will lose it. He started by taking it out on my car when he was borrowing it. I would get it back with more dents dings or missing mirrors and the broken windows. I has also sent me to the hospital once or twice. I turned him in once and my mother told me that she would dis own me if I did it again. She is always on his side saying that I had to of started it one way or another. Another one of my brothers well he made it through high school and is doing his thing playing college ball but I am the one helping him get through it. I send him money every 3 to 6 days and he says he has a job over there. Everytime we talk I hear in the backround hey whos buying the drink. Or what we doing tonight or we have to celebrate. I dont want to be supporting his drinking and partying every week. I would be fine with helping him with his rent but I dont think it goes to it. If I dont do for him he cuses me out. He swears up and down that he will pay me back I really dout it. I have another brother who gets money hides it from everyone then when he wants to go somewhere and we just so happend to be going to town so we say as long as you have a place to stay ill take you. Well I get a place ot stay for the night and just as I lay my head down I get a phone ringing. Its my brother asking if he can get a ride home. Well I dont want to drive to pick him up on the otherside of town and i dont want to drive an hour to take him home. But if I dont do it my mother will drive in from home and then drive right back out. No wonder she has to move out of her house and try and find a new place by the first of the month. She has already had two strokes and two heart attacks im surpised that she has lasted this long.

I really want to help my brothers and my mother but I am starting to have health problems because if it. I have been having chest pains and headaches and I just cant shake the cold I have. My father is no help once he gets paid he pays his drug dealer for more drugs and I dont see him till he needs money or a ride. I really feel bad for the little ones that dont need to see any of this. I try my best to give them what they need but Im not their mother and they have the hardest time understanding why. I help them with homework get their clothes for them make sure they eat and wash. have them clean when need be. I take them to chuck E cheese and to the parks and so on. My mother is working so much and the only time she is home is when they are at school. Our credit is so bad that we cant get any loans and she just got out of bankrupt.

ABOUT A MONTH AGO THIS LITTLE GIRL WENT INTO HER DORM ROOM AT HER HIGH SCHOOL AND WENT TO THE CLOSET SHE OPENED THE DOORS AND GRABED HOLD OF THE WIRE THAT SHE HAD STRUNG. SHE PULLED IT TIGHTLY AROUND HER NECK AND STEPPED OFF THE CHAIR. I WISH THAT SHE HADENT DONE WHAT SHE DID BUT ITS TO LATE TO STOP HER. SHE IS GONE FOREVER AND SHE WILL NEVER KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE LOVED AND CARED FOR HER. IF YOU HAVE A HEART YOU WILL VISIT HER BLOG AND SEE WHO SHE WAS. SHE WAS A VERY BRIGHT GIRL THAT WAS GOING PLACES WHO JUST GREW UP IN THE WRONG PLACE. quugalria SHE WILL BE MISSED SO MUCH

HERE ARE SOME OF HER OWN WORDS:

“Rachelle,” she said angrily, “What are you doing up?” Of course, what’s a teen to do when it’s eleven o’clock at night trying to go to bed when there is a ruckus downstairs? “I can’t go to bed,” I said with a whine. “You guys are too loud.” As I slowly walk up the stairs with my head facing down, I headed for my room wishing the noise could go away. “Shut up!” my mother yelled, standing at the bottom of the stairs, slurring her words screaming at my step-dad. “Stupid son of a bitch,” she screamed while her face turns red as she raises her voice.
Hearing the screaming and fighting of my mother’s anger toward my dad was just one thing I hated about living at home. But there was something else I hated even more than anything else: the drinking. I remember when my parents would leave for a few days at a time to go somewhere else but later on I found out they just wanted to drink.
Being left at home wasn’t a huge problem. I shopped for food and I cleaned the house hoping that when they came back they will be proud of me. I was always alone. It scared me.  The biggest fear I have is to be alone. Having a big house, yet empty and trashed wasn’t so comforting. Since my parents weren’t around, I realized that I had no boundaries. Nothing would keep me from doing what I wanted to do. I always had my friends over when I was alone. “Hey do you want to sleep over?” I asked one of my friends.  “I am not sure but I can ask mom.” replied Cheryl.  Unfortunately, it was a school night so she wasn’t able to. I spent about a half and hour trying to find one of my friends to sleep over but no one wasn’t able to. Sadly, I had to sleep alone that night. Then, I woke up in the middle of the night scared.  It was so dark that the only light I saw was the streetlight coming from outside the window. The shadows in the living room frightened me. They looked like they were about to get me. As scared as I was, all I did was lay there, hoping that I could fall asleep quickly without thinking about what’s going to happen if someone tries to break inside.
The memories of my past permanently scarred me forever. My childhood wasn’t the happiest time of my life. My mother had me when she was only seventeen years old. She wasn’t ready to have a child. I don’t even think she planned on having me either. She wasn’t really there for me when I was a baby. So I lived with my grandmother most of the time. But there were times when she tried to get me. My mother scared me. There was a time when she came into grandmother’s house yelling, looking for me like she wanted to just beat the shit out of me. Immediately, my grandma Mary told me to hide under the blankets and not say anything.
“Where’s Rachelle,” she said yelling at her mother, who is my grandma, as she searches inside the house.
“Tara, can you see,” my grandmother said, “The way you are treating her is wrong” she asked my mother.
“I don’t care,” my mother yelled. She told my grandmother she didn’t give a rat’s ass what she was doing. She just told her to stay out of her business. I was crying loudly so obviously she found me. My mother yanked the blankets off, pulled me by my arm trying to take me out of my grandma’s house. But, luckily my Uppa Fred came in and kicked her out of the house.
When I was at home, it was a nightmare. Being left alone with her meant tortI remember her picking me up by my hair and throwing me around like rag doll. For what reason? Why? What did I do? All of these I do not know. For hours I spent crying hoping that it will end. Sooner or later she had to take a cigarette break. Knowing that I would call the police she told me not to use the phone. As soon as she left the house, I quickly went to call my grandmother’s house. Too late. She had already caught me. She grabbed the phone and hid it. When was this going to end? I asked myself.
Finally, my Aunty Buzzy came inside the house, with shock, to check on my mom and found me crying hysterically. Right when I saw her I ran toward her to safety. Then she immediately took me out of the house until the next day. “It’s okay Rachelle,” my Aunty Buzzy said in sympathy, “She doesn’t know what she’s doing because she’s drunk.” Yet, the painful experiences I have faced helped made me become a strong-hearted person.
My father’s snow-machine accident caused my mother’s alcohol problems to worsen. I felt like my life was a living hell. Everyday my mother was either drinking or hung over. After five years of taking care of my dad she gave up. My dad wasn’t how he used to be. He stole money from my mom and always ran away. It wasn’t until she found a boyfriend named Shawn. How did she meet him? In jail. Why was she in jail? Because she threw me down the stairs of our house. This happened during the winter. Then, I walked to my grandma’s house with no coat or any type of winter clothing and told my grandma what happened. Then she decided to press charges. Once my mother and Shawn got out of jail they started seeing each other. The first time I met him I automatically did not like him.  It was only after she met him that I didn’t matter anymore. The drinking was still an issue.
After time passed, they had already started a family. We moved to his parents’ house and it was only a matter of time until we became a problem. His family hated my mother because of her rude attitude and her alcohol problem. So, we all moved out and moved into a small old house that smelt like gas because of the heating monitor. Shortly after, their drinking became an everyday habit. The police came three days in a row because of their disturbance towards the neighbors. Finally, we were taken away. Then everything changed. My brother Cory, a year old, was the only person I lived for. I knew that I was never to see him again. My second brother Shawn, who was only a few months old at the time, didn’t know what was going on. The last born, Kobe was not born yet so he didn’t have a big effect on me at the time. Because of this, I was never ever to see my family again. It is only once a year I am able to see them. Once is not enough.
Now that I am out of my family’s house, I do not have to deal with the fighting and abuse ever again. Ever since I was taken away, I have been angry at my mother for choosing to make all the wrong decisions. I choose not to become anything like her. She is a role-model of what I wish not to become. Today, I am a drug free student of Mount Edgecumbe High School, receiving the best education to become a person of success and happiness wishing to live life, and accomplish my dream to become a law school student. Although, I do not get to live my life with the people I love. I still believe that the day my brothers and I were taken away was the turning point of our lives. At least they do not have to go through the pain and abuse that I was given from my alcoholic mother. What I have experienced has helped me realize that no one can hurt me more than I have already been hurt. I am proud to know that I have broken the family cycle. Today, I stand as a proud survivor of an alcohol based home. Being drug-free and sober is the most honorable pride I have as a child that lived through domestic violence. 

I woke up this morning got dressed and brushed my hair and teeth. I decited to curl my hair this morning for some reason. While curling my hair I started thinking about a question I was asked the night before. If Jesus himself came to you and told you you could have one wish before you leave this place what would you wish for?  I decited finally what I would wish for. I would wish to go back to the happiest day of my life. Just to have that feeling before I go. But I thought about it and I cant seem to figure out when that was. Well im sure he would figure it out for me since he knows already.

But I wanna know what your wish would be and/or when your happiest moment was.  So start stabbing me in the back.

Are you ready?  Thats all it took for me to freak out. I was scared that he would tell someone if I did say yes. I just sat there, my legs wrapped around his waist, trying to think. Its a big thing for me being my first time and all. He started by kissing my neck and slowly moving to my chest. He just kept trying and all I could do is sit there. I was frozen I couldnt believe that I was really here in this moment. That the guy I liked, liked me back. He asked me again and still I couldnt answer him. I just let him keep doing what he was doing. Then he started lifting my shirt, I was so embarrassed about the way my body looks, looking at my body his smile got bigger and he moved in. He started kissing my chest moving through my chest he rubbed his face in between them. He took off his sweatshirt so quick that I didnt even see the shirt come off under it. Do you want to? Im not even enjoying this and he is asking me if I want to. I feel so weird with him rubbing and touching and kissing every inch of me. When he got on top of me and started rubbing himself on me I could feel him getting even more excited. I started feeling like I could handle this. I got the courage to tell him Im ready.  He moved down and unbuttoned my pants and pulled them off of me. It wasnt as easy as they say it is. I helped him get them the rest of the way off. He started undoing him pants and thats when I knew there was no turning back. All I could think of is I hope he doesnt tell anyone about this. I dont know what I will do if anyone found out. He gentle entered as I sent out a ouch to his ears. He asked me if I am okay. I say nothing but nod my head. He starts moving in and out and kissing my lips gentle moving to my neck and back up. I feel so much pain that all I could do is lay my head back and let him go. He says I want you to enjoy this as much as me. He starts heading down south and the next thing I know he is eating me out. I couldnt help but laugh it tickled so much. I had to tell him to stop. Thats when I decited I would join in on this experience. He went back in and I started kissing his chest and digging my fingers into his back. Thats when it happened he couldnt hold it anymore. He was way to into it that he couldnt stop, he didnt want to stop. He busted in me! Being it was my first time I wasnt on anything and he just so happen to not have a condom with him. I just keep telling myself it took only those three little words two thoughts in my head and one answer.

So yesterday  I go to a friends house and she just so happend to have a couple of other people popping up every 10 to 15 mins. Her sister and her sisters friend showed up and they were drunk as fuck and high to. So there we are in a house filled with people of all ages and I hear a kock at the door. They have a camera on teh porch so you can see whos outside but it was to dark to see who was out there or if anyone was out there. I could make out a baseball cap so I opened the door and this guy is standing there and he says oh sorry I must have the wrong house. I say no I dont live here who are you looking for. He says hes looking for a Jack, thats when my friends sisters friend came out the back room and I asked if she knew who Jack was. The next thing I know she is coming inside after talking to him and some other guy that just popped up out of thin air. She says hey they are going to go buy us some drank what do you want. Shit I just stood there and said I dont need anything get what ever you want. Well let me tell you one thing though the girl is 15 yrs old and the guys that were at the door were 21 and 38. So my friend and I and another girl said ok we are going to get some chaser,for the drank that I had bought a week ago and hadnt been able to finish because they had so much when I got there the last time, we got in my truck and took off and what do you know we see the two guys WALKING to the liqour store and we cant help but laugh our asses off. we get our 99 cent drinks and head back. As we are leaving we see these fools running across the street they were trying to get a ride back. Yeah RIGHT like ima bout to let some guys I dont like or know in my truck dont think so. So after they come back my friends brother showed up with some more people. We all drank and hung out till the girl who answered the door when I left got fucked up. Let my tell you though this girl said to us after the guys left that she was going to drink their shit but they aint getting anythan in return. Yeah about 3am she is so fucked up drunk that she couldnt stand straight. I was sitting on the couch and I over heard the 21 yr old say your hot you wanna go fuck. her reply hell yeah. So they get up and leave ofcourse no one sees this and are later asking where she is. I tell them the truth that she left with that guy and they all start laughing.

Well during this hole "party" I was getting lifted with my friends brother I dont know what he was thinking because I started to pass out and here he comes with his clipped on lighter and started swinging it at me. I grabbed it and told him to stop he just kept playing with me. I finally got up and started walking around and he comes up to me and swatts me again. This time I get in his face and try grabbing it from him the then trys to move in and kiss me. I look up at him and he trys again. I just walked over to the couch and stood behind it. He comes up and started rubbing against me. Thats when I decited to sit down again and go to sleep. I sat on the couch and he comes and sits down next to me. Starts rubbing my leg trying to get in closer. Im not trying to have that first off hes 19 im 22 he likes my little sister and tells me this all the time and he cant stop talking about how his new girl dont excite him and that he wants to leave her. Yeah well his sister finally showed up from the other room and he got up and moved to the other couch. After she left the room again he starts talking to me we have a hole hour convo about how he got this girl prego and how he wants her to get rid of it even though he dont believe in abortion cause he wants to brake up with her and go back to his ex. Very NOT exciting convo. My friend started texting me from the other room telling me she needs some advise about her boyfriend and her crush,who just so happend to be there last night., on what she should do and who she should be with. It was a boring night at that point and I had to just lay down.

The 15 yr old was finally dragged back to the house after an hour and half. All she said was I GOT LAID and she was very loud about letting everyone know. She tells me to sit up so she can sit down. She then tells me that she just lost her virginity. I said what did you just say damn girl with him of all people shit. She laughed and said im a big girl so it didnt hurt as much as people say it does. I am still alittle sore though. (a little mental note the guy she fucked ,21, paid one of the other guys 10 dollars for the condom he just used on her) I couldnt believe that she would even do that. What is it with the kids theses days they are either prego or have caught something from another partener. And they seem to share their guys,girls, like nothing. I dont remember all that shit when I was going up. What drives a person to want to do that to themselves? I understand that they dont want to be a virgin for life and everything but could you at least know the guy for a few months or years before you let him take you. They knew eachother for about 4 hours when they did it. I guess im just olod fashioned or something.

So last night I was asked by my friend to come and have dinner with him. I said okay and went after work to see him. He cooked for me and ordered a movie for us to watch. P2 very strange movie. We ate and watched the movie. Half way through the movie I got cold so he went and got a blanket for me. He covered us with the blanket and moved in and put his arm around me. I dont know what it is with me but I can get any guy I want just by listening to him and talking less. We had a little session and he asked me to stay the night. I  told him I would and I had to work in the morning so after some "dessert" I went to sleep and in the morning I woke up to him rubbing my legs and watching me sleep. We messed around for a minute then he went and made breakfast while I took a shower. He asked me if it was okay if he called me his girlfriend and I told him you can call me your baby if you want to. In other words he asked me out and  I said yes. After breakfast he walked me to my truck and I went to work. I ran into my ex today and he was just staring at me but I'm feeling so good today that not even he can bring me down.

christina

So yesterday I find out that my mother has decited to take a job in Arizona and that she and my siblings will be leaving at the end of June. My father wasnt to happy to hear the news and neither were my siblings. I guess the way I see it is that she is taking the youngest ones with her and the older ones will have to find a place to live or stay till they get jobs and can get their own place. Well first off my brothers dont work they smoke and they were kicked out of school. One of them has decited to ask my older brother if he could live with him. My older brother gave him the okay. My other brother is going back to cali for school and my other brother is just shit out of luck he is in bethel and he may be moving back there. If im lucky he will so I dont have to see him.

For my sisters both of them are going with my mother and so is my youngest brother. My mother has asked me if I would like to go but that I would have to find my own way there. I really dont know what to do yet. I really am ready, more like pass due, to leave here. I still owe on my truck and I dont know how I would do that considering they wont take payment over the phone. I dont know if I could trust anyone here to go and make the payments if I give them the money.

I guess you can never really be ready for anything. I will just have to keep moving with the changes that are to come and hope that everything will work out.

Man it really gets to me that my sister was blessed with such beauty. Don't get me wrong there are no ugly people in my family.  But I just worry so much more because of it. She is turning 16 soon and most people think she is older. She loves to flirt and talk alot of shit about people. She will mess with your head so much that you will give her what ever she wants. Friday and Saturday  I got to see it first hand. I took her to the gas station so she could use the bathroom and the next thing I know we have 6 guys wanting to go with us. Neither one of us knew who these guys were but sure enough they followed us to a friends house. We all had drinks and smoked and a few hours later I hear that they are popping. My sister just so happen to be one of those who was popping. I was worried that she wouldnt be able to handle it, but it was to late for me to stop her she had already taken it. They went and bought orange juice. They gave me one that was open already. An hour afterwards I started feeling really cold. They told me that they had slipped one into the drink I had. I got so pissed off that I went and laid down in the backroom. The next thing I know everyone is in the room with me. My sister comes and lays her head on my chest and doesnt want to move. They started kicking her telling her to get up cause you cant pop and fall asleep. We all get up and go for a ride to the store for some more juice and something to eat. While we were gone everyone at the house kept calling us to find out what was taking us so long. I was getting annoyed at this point. We got back and they all started drinking again. My sister is playing around with one of the guys that followed us and I really dont like it because he said he was 21.  My sister just couldnt stop she just thought she was all that. When her beauty goes to her head its all down hill from there. 

After a while I see something going on in the hallway and decited to check it out. They are looking into a room I peeked my head in and there is one of the guys and my friends sister.  Getting dressed. He then says hey get "........" in here. He was talking about my little sister. Thats when I went after him they grabbed hold of me while he ran to the other room. I was about to beat his ass. I went to the other room with two guys holding me so I dont  try going after him again. I started yelling at the top of my lungs "If anyone trys anything with my little sister I will beat the shit out of them and if I can't do it then my 6 brothers sure will!!!" I was so pissed. I was trying to get her to leave with me and she wouldnt bring her ass on. Man I am so mad about that. She had all those guys wanting her and she was just loving it. She need to have people watching or paying attention to her. If you dont she gets very angry and pissed off. I wonder sometimes if she cant be alone. I guess beauty does go to your head when you know you are.

So I told my mother the truth today. I told her about my sister and her ways and how  I couldnt stand her anymore. I gave my mother 7 hundred dollars today and then told her that I love her and that I know I wont see you again and I want you to know that I love you and that I want to be cremated when I pass on. She barely heard me when  I was talking to her. Its okay though I have decited that tonight I will pray and when I am done I will relieve my pain and suffering. If I dont sign in again you will know I have gone to a better place.

SO you tried to do the right thing and it blow up in your face what now?

This was my delima my sister an I were driving to a friends house and we saw a gurl that we had seen at her house before. So being the good hearted person I am I asked her if she was in need of a ride. She told me she was going to the same place as us so when we pulled up my sister got out the truck and went over to the other truck that had 6 people in it. She came back and said that they want her to go with them. Thats when the girl got out the truck and walked over and started cusing out the guy who owned the truck. It turned out that she was engaged to the guy and he was with her best friend in the back seat of his own truck with her. Well my sister being the big mouth that she has. Was talking shit about the guy the rest of the way to the house after the girl had asked if we had seen him. She was also talking about the girl that he was all over the last couple of weekends. Long story short I was taken into a room pinned against the wall by two guys that were with him. Wanting to know why I would set him up like I did. I told them the truth but they werent trying to hear it they were already drunk and high so its not like they knew what was going on really. Things got way out of control when one of the guys that were holding me's sister walked in and they turned their anger to her instead. Next thing I know one of the guys is waving around a gun. I was then let go and everyone was running I just stood there for a moment before grabbing onto the guy with the gun. He dropped to the floor and the gun went off. Everyone freaked out and dropped to the ground inside and outside. I tried to pick the guy up but he was to heavy. I turned him over and searched for holes or blood or anything. I couldnt find anything. I was so scared. I was freaking out myself. He opened his eyes and said im drunk "WOOOOO". I just laughed thats all I could do before he passed out again. The gun was facing the ground and the bullet went down into the dirt. I was very lucky that he didnt get hurt or even killed I took his gun and hid it from him. After that they all took off and everything seemed like it was back to normal again. I went to sleep and woke up every hour just incase though I just couldnt go to sleep thinking that they could come back after a few more drinks. I woke up with my friends brother sleeping on me. I guess he came in and just passed out on me or something. I got up and went to work. So far I have had three people call saying they dont remember much of last night and they want me to fill them in. Well that is the gist of it and yes the guys that pinned me said sorry and that they dont remember doing it.  SO DID I SCARE YOU?